Better Days

I  know it's been a while since I posted a picture of myself. No new outfits, as you can see, but rather some old threads. The dress has seen better days. It is started to fade, I've noticed, though, unless you compared before and after pictures, you probably couldn't tell. But I notice. I also notice how it is getting those ratty little fuzz balls on the edges of the ruffles.  So let's all take a moment to pray for my garment, shall we?
Also, I have a new picture from the baby house! How exciting is that?! I know this isn't the time of year we normally think about giving donations and others in need but the truth is these kids still need our help more than ever.

 Gah! Look at those little munchkins! :D

Thanks for reading,

-Lindsey

Fetch

It's a hard knock life for some kids out there, you guys. Cruelty and lack of compassion don't always hurt our hearts the way they should. There is always a new tragedy on the news, or another shockingly twisted crime committed....only problem is, that no one is shocked anymore. We've been so overwhelmed by the wickedness of the world that we say, "What can I do about it? I can't fix anything. My vote won't matter. No one will know the difference."  


Well, that is an epic cop out. Just sayin'. So if you know you've been pulling a Pontius Pilate on your end of the world lately, I hope this new update on the baby orphanage will motivate you.


Yesterday I went to the Baby House in the morning. It was a great start to my day. I'm not usually totally jam-packed on Fridays, but yesterday was very much so. We had some very important business to take care of in the afternoon (therefore causing my daughter to miss her afternoon nap- not. good.) then in the evening I hosted a girls movie night.

But starting off my day with the babies set the tone for my attitude for the whole day- in a good way. Each time I come back I am more grateful, thankful, striving not to complain or argue... I'm more sensitive and aware. I feel more alive.

Those babies have changed me. They do it every. single. time.

The babies were in great moods when we arrived. We were surprised and thrilled! I rushed to my Baby K and cuddled her like I always dream of doing while we are away. She was so giggly- which is unusual. She is babbling a bit, standing up for short periods of time when I hold her hands, and crawling a teensy-tiny bit. She grabs for toys and plays with them with curiosity. It breaks my heart wondering if she doesn't get much stimulation when we are not there.

One of the workers is older- maybe in her 50's. She doesn't treat the babies harshly, but she doesn't interact with them much either. She conducts herself more like a supervisor, sitting on a chair leaning back, only intervening if she is needed. The children look at her as if they are seeking her approval. They run to her (like a child would run to their mother) and she spouts out short comments like "go" or "come" with zero love or emotion. At one point she looked over at me and said, "I play this game with the children. I throw a toy and the babies grab it and bring it back to me."

I was disgusted. That game is called fetch. You play it with dogs. Not babies.

Of course the children liked the stimulation with their "mother-figure" but I just felt sick to my stomach thinking how twisted it was. Why can't she sit on the floor and play with them? Why does she have to sit on her chair and just throw the toys at them? Wow. Lord help me with my anger.

I was tossing a ball back and forth with Baby K (more like rolling it on the floor and basically handing it to her) when she tossed it over my shoulder and it landed next to this particular worker. She picked it up, tossed it right at Baby K's forehead on purpose, and laughed. I almost cried. I almost yelled at her. I almost did a lot of things. *sigh* I decided it was best not to do anything but move Baby K farther away from this lady so we could continue our game in peace.

Lord, my earnest desire is for these children to be adopted into loving families- locals or foreigners. But if that isn't possible at this time, then my prayer is that you would touch the hearts of the orphanage workers. Speak to them somehow- any way possible- a dream, a vision, a book, a conversation, you can use anything! But please, I beg You, transform their hardened hearts so that they will treat these precious children with more love and compassion. Help them to see these babies through YOUR eyes. Oh Father, how I ache to take one home. How I ache to see these angels adopted into loving families who love You!

Here is a picture I took of a special orphanage training course I attended a few weeks ago. A team from New Zealand flew here to train us in music/massage therapy for traumatized children. These particular workers in this picture do not work at the baby house- they work at a disabilities orphanage outside of town. Would you join me in prayer that all orphanage workers in this country would learn how to lovingly care for the children? 

I have asked God for my heart to break the way His does when He looks at the world.  No feeling we can have towards our fellow man could be worse than indifference.  

Baby K

If you've been following this blog then you've probably read about baby K, our correspondent's favorite little orphan at the baby house. You may also know that generally, pictures are not allowed to be taken at the baby house. Well, guess what?......


I have a really really bad headache. Been killin' me for two days straight. I can't stand light or sounds. So this blog post is gonna be short and sweet.

Oh so sweet.

Somehow, miraculously, one of my friends who volunteers at the baby house with me convinced the workers to let her snap some photos.

Can you say "unbelievable"? Yes. Yes it is.

I can't describe to you in words the way my heart goes pitter-patter when I see the faces of my precious angels in the photos.

I don't want to get in trouble or anything like that (if you know me well, you know I hate getting in trouble), so I just cropped Baby K so you can at least see her. The photo quality isn't the best, but hey, it's a photo and that's what matters.

So here she is. My sweetheart.
I wish I could take her or any of the babies home with me forever.

My heart aches to think of all these little ones without families.  I pray that they will come to know Jesus and that He will welcome them into His eternal family.  
(oh, and kudos to the volunteer who snapped this shot!) 
Thanks for reading, guys.

AHHH!

Today is day 130.
If you looked at the picture above and thought, "Hey, that looks like it could be the cover of some horror movie," you'd be right.


And the name of this real life horror is called, Wearing Black in Ninety Degree Weather.  
I am dying here, people. The dress itself is airy enough but we all know that black is like a black hole, sucking heat into itself. 


You know, I've thought several times over the past few months that I would just love to put on something else.


Now I kinda feel like I just wanna be naked. 


If you would like to console me, please click the donate button in the right hand margin. 
Thank you. :)


-Me

Become like these

It's been a while since we've had an orphanage update so you should definitely read this!


Orphanage day.

I left my bleeding heart with the babies and came home after a wonderful morning of playtime and hugs.

Then I walked in the door, squeezed my baby girl tight, and snuggled her until she fell asleep.


I can be having the crummiest, most depressing and discouraging week of the century... but the minute I walk into that baby house and love on those darling angels, my heart melts into thankfulness and tenderness. How can I not be grateful for all my blessings afterward?

Today we were thankful to have some visitors from America helping us. Their team is here for a week and I snagged them before they leave soon. It was wonderful to have them come because some of our usual volunteers are either out of the country or not coming anymore. I was so proud to show off our little ones to our visitors! They are sweethearts that will melt your heart like an ice cream cone in July.

I took half the volunteers to the older toddler section while the other ladies stayed with the babies. Of course my heart yearned to hold baby K in the baby room, but I was still happy to play with the older children. We took them outside and they were thrilled! The courtyard doesn't have much as far as play equipment goes. There are aging wooden benches amidst rusty swings and teeter-totters, and the cement ground is dusty. But the children don't mind. To them it's still a wonderful world to explore! The toddlers are a hoot- they run around playing with the toys we bring while swinging or sitting on the teeter-totters. I'm not really sure what other toys they have other than what we bring twice a week for them... but from what I can tell our toys are a treat for them. Many of the toys have been donated from expat families who brought the items from America or Europe. They are all in very good condition and safe for younger children.

I thought to myself this morning, "How many toys sit unused and forgotten in so many houses around the world... yet these children are yearning for just one little toy car to play with?" I don't have all the answers, my friends. I don't expect us all to pack up all of our children's toys and ship them to Africa tomorrow. I'm just commenting on how little these toddlers have and how thankful they are. My own daughter has toys she doesn't bother to play with. I've started giving some of those "forgotten" toys away to some of my local friends, and other toys I've swapped with my friends for variety. I like the idea of living simply and not hoarding up too many possessions. So even though I don't have all the answers, I do have ideas on how we can live simpler lives full of selflessness and giving.

Working at the orphanage has changed me more than I have helped them, of this I'm sure. I come home with more gratitude, sensitivity, calmness, and simplicity. Father's Son was right when he said:

“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3)

I wish you all could come see my sweethearts at the baby house. And maybe someday you can :) Come visit me. I'm serious.

May we throw aside our complaining and pessimism and clothe ourselves with gratitude when we stop to realize all the blessings we really do have in this life. May we be like little children with simple hearts and deep love.


Thanks for reading and offering your support! :)


-Lindsey

Did you know?

The great thing about having your own blog is that it is like your personal soap box for whenever you feel like you have something you need to say.

And it just so happens that today I feel like I do.

One thing that has been on my mind a lot lately is just the emotional state in America.  Did you know that according to statistics taken in 2005, 30% of women are clinically diagnosed with depression, and 15% of men? Did you know that it is estimated that the true number of people suffering from depression is much higher, but many have never been diagnosed? And depression in children has increased by an astounding 25%. Seriously? Children?

The most developed countries have the highest rates of depression. What are these numbers telling us?
We are a people that are both too full and completely empty.

Our society is fast paced and we want what we want when we want it. There is always a pressure to attain more, surpass someone else's accomplishments. If we don't look a certain way, or drive a special car etc. the media tells us that we are incomplete.  And for most of us, there is an emptiness resounding inside that agrees, "I am not whole".

Now, if you are someone who is placing their contentment at some point in the future, (I'll be happy when...) let me tell you that you will never find it there. There are a lot of things out there that are saying, "Once you have me, you will have arrived. You will finally be happy."
Did you know that the highest suicide rates occur in the richest 1% of the population?

If you have drank from all of these wells then why are you still thirsty?

Jesus said, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
  The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”  John 4:13-15

The Samaritan woman at the well did not understand what Jesus was offering her. Because we are largely physical beings, we seek to address our physical needs first. But if all of your physical needs have been met and you are still unhappy, then perhaps what you need isn't a new iphone, or a better job, or any number of other trivial things in this life that amuse us for a while, but are in the end, a novelty.  


Maybe you need Jesus.  


And if you already have accepted Jesus as your Savior, then maybe you need to let him be your Lord as well. See, those are two different things. When someone gets saved or baptized, they may pray or declare, "I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior."  Everybody wants to be saved, but not everybody wants a Lord.  Isn't that why we usually only talk to God in our most desperate hours? "God, please help me! If You bail me out of this one, I promise I'll..."


Rick Warren wrote in his book 40 Days of Purpose "The problem with a living sacrifice is that it keeps crawling off the alter."  That's what our lives are supposed to be. A living sacrifice. We live to do the will of our Creator. But the things God requires are not usually easy or fun or safe.  That's why we try to worm our way out of it. 


I literally woke up one morning with this strong feeling on my heart, it felt like God saying, "Lindsey, remember that Uniform Project you read about a few years ago? I want you to do that. I want you to wear the same black dress for a year to raise money for orphanages."


I was astounded and, I'll admit it, more than a little reluctant. My initial response was something like, "Really, God? This is very specific. And very...odd."  As I prayed I could almost hear Him saying with a smile, "All of my best ideas are."
Now the funny thing about obeying the will of God is that, even if it sounds crazy, if you let Jesus have his way with things, you usually end up happier than you would have thought possible. There is a peace and a joy that happens when you stop trying to be your own god. 


Paul wrote in Philippians 4, "¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

I would bet money on Paul having led a harder life than most of us. (Ship wrecks, beatings, imprisonment). But he got it. Read those verses again. That's not the kind of assurance you can get from looking like a super model or making six figures a year or any of that stuff. That's  not even the kind of assurance you can get from having a loving spouse or family.  That is the assurance of God's perfect love. 
I couldn't be happier that I accepted my Lord's offer to let me be a part of His plan in this unique way. There have been times where I knew what God was asking me to do, and I refused. Refusal has always led to regret. 


So if you're anxious or depressed, here is your Answer. I am not trying to downplay the importance of doctors and medication for those who need it. I myself have been taking anti-depressants for the past few years. It helps a lot with the physical side effects, and regulates mood swings and such. But if you want a magic bullet, this isn't it. Medicine can be helpful, but it will only take you so far. I can tell you for a fact that if I wanted to be anxious or depressed, I still could be. Mostly, it is a choice, a conscious decision that has to be made every hour of every day to trust in the Lord. And for me, this has made all the difference.


-Lindsey

Jeans!

                                                                        It works!

                                        See? Also note Nick being oblivious to my strangeness.


Today I would like to take a moment to talk about the relationship I have with my jeans.

Up until about 81 days ago jeans and I had been having a long standing love affair. (It's ok, you guys. My husband knows. We have an open relationship.) But, along came the little black dress affair and I told jeans that maybe we should stop seeing each other for a while. My jeans hung sadly in their closet, saying that they understood. I said I hoped we could still be friends.

BUT today I had a remarkable revelation! I don't know why it took me so long to figure it out.  The straps on my dress are adjustable, but by default, I just always leave them at the same length. But if I shorten the straps all the way, it is about the length of a long shirt. And if I wear another similar long shirt over top it makes it seem more casual. Jeans and I can be together after all!

I know I haven't posted any outfit pics in a while but for this breakthrough I needed y'all to see. :)